Stopping Verbal Abuse -- Stop

After trying the methods for diversity, persistent ignorance, open conflict, and generalized anxiety, and finding that none of them fit, the next thing to try is the possibility that the other person(s) simply need(s) or enjoy(s) having someone around to abuse. 

Here are some methods to help you not to be the one the abuser will abuse. First, STOP. Pull up short on all the other methods for other difficult situations. Stop yelling, raising the voice, moving about, or any of the same things the abuser is doing.

For Stopping Verbal Abuse, pull back in the imagination from interlocking in this game. If increasing physical distance is possible, do it. Always be aware that verbal abuse is often a precursor for physical abuse. So keep safe, whatever it takes!

In order to STOP being verbally abused, don't get hooked on trying to figure out why he or she is doing it, or what he or she wants. For the verbal abuser, the goal might be simply to control and consume the other person's attention for however long.

Some of the ideas for this article came from these works:

Elgin, Suzette Haden. The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1980.

Elgin, Suzette Haden. How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense. New York: Wiley & Sons, 1997.

Copyright 2014 Wilma Zalabak