Four Reasons People Give for Not Saying I

I asked what hinders people from saying "I." First answer: It's such hard work to remind oneself and to search for inner honesty and to find the right words. Okay, it's learning another language. Immersion helps, and the rewards far outweigh the costs.

"There is someone I'm afraid of." This was given in answer to my asking what hinders people from saying "I." If this is your response, please go slowly in switching to saying "I." There are cases in which saying "I" is neither wise nor safe.

"Saying I sounds conceited." I can turn off that decades-old teaching and listen instead to the honesty fostered by saying I. I will keep arrogance and superiority out of my tone and stance, and simply define myself clearly. Others then return the favor.

"I've tried and I can't do it," another reason people give for not saying "I." It is true that some, and maybe even many, have unaccountable and unrelenting resistance to saying "I" until they find a listener for themselves and experience the healing of it.

I will add another reason for not saying "I." There are situations in which saying "I" will not help and is not prudent. Please read through the section here on Difficult Listening and notice that the most difficult situations call for something else.

Copyright 2014 Wilma Zalabak