Overturning Persistent Ignorance -- Stop, Look, Listen
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- Last Updated: Friday, 16 January 2015 15:13
- Published: Friday, 11 October 2013 13:20
- Written by Wilma Zalabak
If the fun methods for thriving in diversity don't solve the listening difficulty, then STOP using the methods for diversity. Stop laughing; stop trying to re-assign and re-adjust. Stop accommodating or placating. Keep eye contact and continue saying "I."
For Persistent or Arrogant Ignorance, ignorance of what is wanted or ignorance of good listening, LOOK by asking, "Am I getting what I want?" Notice warning signs like gossip, advice, pressure, conversational monopoly, or "we" language.
Persistent Ignorance may be flagged by a feeling of competition, by an intuition that the person is not quite honest, or by a recognition that the result of any conversation with that person is usually confusion. Time to brush up on assertiveness skills.
For Persistent Ignorance, the LISTEN includes assertiveness skills. First, try giving some feedback, always saying "I." "This is what I heard you say." "This is what I see you doing." "This is what I wonder if you're feeling right now."
For Persistent Ignorance, the LISTEN includes assertiveness skills. Skills like repeating or restating what was just said, to gain clarity and to give assurance of understanding. Skills like agreeing and admitting in the face of accusations.
For Persistent Ignorance, it's important to listen carefully to my personal answer to the key question, "Am I getting what I want?" It's not selfish to know what I most deeply want. I ask myself what I want, then I ask what I want from that, why, and repeat.
Assertiveness requires listening. After using well the skills of assertiveness with its required listening, it will be clear whether or not the situation is more difficult conflict, the case where two or more want the same time, space, resources, and/or rewards.
Copyright 2014 Wilma Zalabak